I opened my eyes to see bright light, I squinted and clocked my brain was banging against my skull, it hurt so much, I was on a bed and I knew where – hospital. I hated this place so much.
“oi blud, nurse, shes awake, come quick” it was Connor – thank god, his voice made my heartbeat smooth – I knew I was gonna be safe with him. He came and kissed my forhead “ shan thank fuck your alright,i swear no one is gonna touch you again,i swear to god, im always gonna be with you” he kissed my forhead again and hugged me tight,my hair was getting in my face.i smiled at him when he let go and sat down on the edge off the bed and held my hand.I slowly lifted my back up and looked around,i couldn’t remember anything from yesterday,i only remembered when termaine and chris kicked me down; i didn’t know how i got here. Connor looked so different, he hadn’t shaved and he had goatee, his slits in his eyebrows were disappearing but you could see them faintly, but he still had a fresh shape up, my baby.
“Connor how did I get here? I don’t remember anything” I said.
He was going to say something but the nurse came along with a doctor, the nurse came and started un plugging some wires from the machine while the doctor stood next to the bed with a clipboard, he was wearing glasses and was very old, I held onto Connors hand tighter,”shaniqua I’m Dr.Jones and I have some bad news and some good news”.
I looked at Connor and he squeezed my hand re assuring me everything was gonna be alright.
“Yes” I said faintly.
“The good news is ms coremstell your free to go today but the bad news is –“he stopped a second “the bad news is you’ve got HIV” he looked up.
My heart sunk, his words repeated in my head ‘you’ve got HIV, you’ve got HIV, and you’ve got HIV’
I looked at connor, he just looked back, his eyes were watery, he kissed my hand and I felt a tear drop onto it, i fucking love him, what have I done to deserve him.
I looked at the doctor, “are you sure doctor jones, maybe there’s something wrong in the test or may-“I got so confused.
“Shaniqua – I’m sure, we carried out the test twice – we found fresh semen in your womb which was infected with HIV”
“What do you mean fresh?” I asked.
“He means the-“I looked at Connor, he stopped talking and looked down, and he sighed.
I was so confused.
“Shaniqua – you were raped yesterday – did you not know?”
“Raped?” I asked, i couldn’t get it into my head, how did I have HIV? I couldn’t have HIV.
“Yes raped, we found different kind off semen in your vagina, but luckily there is treatment for HIV, i put you through to burdocks hospital in Essex for treatments starting next week so don’t get stressed
And then it all became sense yesterday...Chris, termaine.
I shook my head and started bawling, I bawled so hard for 15 minutes to get my emotions out, connor was hugging me so tightly throughout but I didn’t stop, it was just so hard to take in, my life being fucked up already then I hear this, ive got HIV.
“Shan hush” he held both my hands and faced me on the bed, he wiped my tears, oh gosh I don’t deserve him, I really don’t – “Shan were gonna make it, me and you, just us against the world, I don’t care if you got-“he paused, he didn’t want to say the word, “where still gonna be together Shan, I’m gonna fucking die holding your hand” he said as tears were coming out his eyes. I just started bawling even harder into his hands, he took my hands and we both embraced the moment as we put our heads together. i looked up,” I don’t deserve you” I managed to say while bawling.
He looked up and wiped my tears,” don’t say that” he whispered.
He came and hugged me, i hugged him back, i didn’t care anymore, i wasn’t gonna carry on with these skittish movements, it’s just me and connor, me and him against the world, us.
I sniffed and he laughed.
“Why the fuck you laughing?” I asked him while wiping my tears.
“Your – your bare beautiful when you cry” he smiled and kissed my hand again.
“Shut up” I managed to laugh a little bit.
Then there was a knock on the door, we both turned around and saw a nurse stepping in.
“Miss you have a visitor” she stepped to the side and let her in.
I wanted to scream, “GET THIS FUCKING BITCH OUT”.
“Shaniqua I only want-“
“GET OUT, GET OUT” I screamed, I was gonna have a panic attack; i hated this woman with passion, my mother.
“Calm down “Connor said, i started breathing heavily has Connor lead my mum back out.
I hated the woman with passion that hoes.
Connor came back and held me,”shes gone, be calm” he kissed me, i held on to his neck.
“connor promise me youll never leave me” i said in his ear.
He kissed my check, “never,your mine,no ones gonna touch you, no chris breddah,no termaine breddah,i swear shaniqua i would kill for you,im sorry bout the tings dat happened in the past,but ive got u now” he held my hands.
I smiled back,he reminded me how much off a bitch i had been to him,with different man and that,i had never stayed faithful.
“shan were gonna leave this country no more mess,no more commotion,gonna be calm,south London is fucked,we cant stay here,theirs bare mans after me here you know, y-“ he said.
“why are their bare mans after you?” i interrupted.
He looked like he didn’t wanna say anything then he did, “that day man clocked abbie and chris had taken you and they were doing that to you” he stopped and just stared at me.
“yeah?” i said.
“well man went to abbies yard and shanked up her dad” he looked down.
My mouth opened,”chris why the fuck would you do that?”.
He sctracthed his head,” i dunno,man pissed me off when she tried killing you bruv,thats on some next levels,now her batty boy cousins are after me” he got up.
“who? Tyrone?” i said.
“yeah them mans” he said while fixing his chain.
Tyrone was some breh you didn’t wanna get involved wit,give him a screw on road then your dead next morning,let alone kill his uncle,shit.
“where you goin?” i asked.
“we’re goin home,come”
“but are they gonna let me out”
“yeah didn’t u hear , that doctor said ur free to go today”
“oh alright” i got up,my head was hurting so bad,i felt a bandaged wrapped around my stomach.
I sighed and held my tears back,i was going to get out off here no matter what.
Connor helped me undress from the hospital gown into my own clothes , he brought on the way to hospital , i swear i don’t even know why this boys still with me, i don’t fucking deserve him.
He kissed my head as we walked out off hospital and into his whip.
We was driving back to his yard,”connor what did chris and termaine do to me?” i looked at him as i put my hand on the bandage around my stomach.
The traffic light was red as we were stuck in traffic on the north circular.
He looked back,”they-they ra-“ he stopped and didn’t carry on.
I knew what he said.
“was it just them?” i asked.
“no – their were – their were 7” he started getting angry as he screwed up his forhead.
I put my hand on his hand which was on the gear,i layed back on the seat and sighed while we were in traffic.
“and did,did you save me?” i asked when we got to his yard.
He looked at me and opened the door,i stepped in and so did he.
“i tried shan” he lifted his top up to show bruises over his beautiful chest.
I tried holding back my tears but it didn’t work,i jumped into his arms,he held me tight “i fuckin love u” i said.
He kissed my neck.
Then my lips.
Then my chest.
Then going down and kissing my cleavage.
I wrapped my legs around his waist as he walked to the living room with me wrapped around him like some spider.
He put me on the floor and took his top off.
I stopped him,” connor,you cant do this,ive got – ive got hiv,ur going to get it if we do it” i said quitley.
“and you don’t understand how much i love you for me to be doing this,do you” he smiled,i laughed .
“yeah yeah whatever” i laughed and treid getting up.
He stopped me,”you really don’t understand how much i love you do you” he kissed my lips.
It felt so good,i couldn’t stop him,he made me feel like i was the only girl in the world.
I shivered when he started sucking on my nipples.
“connor” i moaned,
He pulled up the skirt he brought me and took my knickers off.
I pulled away,”ahh connor you cant do this to yourse-“
“shhh” he put his lips back on mine,i smiled as he was kissing me, he was actually taking the risk,hes gonna have hiv too,hes mad! But i fuckin love this mad boy; i love him too much.
Then he did it,he went in.
“baby” i sighed because off the pleasure, “you don’t know what you just done to yourself” i whispered while my head was tilted back with tears down my eyes, i didn’t want him to see i was crying.
He lifted my head up with his left hand,and kissed on my tears “don’t cry,i love you,see it feels good”
He kissed my neck and smiled.
I kissed him and our bodies were pressed against eachother.
He was going slow,his big fat dick all rammed up in my pussy.
“shaniqua-shaniqua tell me i own your pussy,tell me i own you,tell me your mine”
I was hot and bothered , “you own me connor,you own every.single.part.off.me,you own my pussy.”
I held onto his neck as he went in and out off me,feeling me,kissing me,loving me.
I came like 3 times in every 15 minutes.
It felt so fucking good,that night me and connor made love,we made love sideways,we made love front ways,we made love backways,we made love in every way,we made love on the floor,made love on the kitchen table,in the bedroom and on the sofa,the whole night i felt connor,i felt him emotionally and physically,he made me feel so good,no other human can do what he does to me,if i ever lost my connor i would die,i would literally kill myself,we were going to go Barbados in two days,and start a new life their,he said we could go get better treatment their because his aunt had HIV.
It was Just us against the world.....
Connor and shaniqua.